Dear Dr. Drew….
I find your lack of empathy concerning seriously debilitating pelvic conditions truly disturbing…and I have quite a few things to say to you about it all…wait…there are some people here who don’t know what went on during your Loveline show… Let’s cover that first shall we?
For those who aren’t aware of the Dr. Drew Pinsky and Loveline drama going on in the Interstitial Cystitis, Pelvic pain, and Endometriosis communities today, I’d like to introduce you to a major issue within our medical culture and that is the issue of ignorant insensitivity.
On April 24th 2014, Dr. Drew and his crew at Loveline took a call from a man in Florida who wanted to ask a question concerning his fiance’.
(For those who have not seen or heard the clip of this call…start watching at timestamp 30:04 and try real hard not to throw shit at your computer screen. It’s not worth it. All we can do is teach…speak out..and spread the word…http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/46661328 )
The man introduced himself and preempted his upcoming question with a little background about his soon to be wife. The caller never got past telling the “good doctor” that his girl had previously been diagnosed with IC, endometriosis, and a plethora of other gastric issues, before Drew started a rant about the authenticity of these pelvic pain conditions and said that “They’re sort of — they’re what we call ‘garbage bag disorders; when you can’t think of anything else, you go …eh, well it’s that.’ So it then makes me question why is she so somatically preoccupied that she’s visiting doctors all the time with pains and urinary symptoms and pelvic symptoms, and then that makes me wonder, was she sexually abused growing up?” He continued on to spew his uneducated opinion…and I say opinion, because he clearly never looked at a pathology slide containing a specimen of removed endometrium from a woman’s reproductive system that proved the endo diagnosis in the first place. I say uneducated because the man is not an OBGYN or a Urologist or even a Uro-Gyno….and while he is a board certified internal medicine MD, his focus is addiction and psychiatry… he honestly seems to know nada about the mechanisms of these conditions and he made that clear all on his own…
But, I digress. He continued on his rant for over a minute before he thanked the caller for calling and disconnected the call. The man from Florida with a question about his fiance’ never got a chance to ask his question. He instead got an ear full of Drew’s “medical knowledge” concerning conditions that he already knew his girl had been diagnosed with previously and had clearly accepted considering he was gonna “put a ring on it”. The man didn’t call and ask what conditions his girl might have when exhibiting certain symptoms, he called to ask about something else…something else that we’ll never know of because it was more important to Dr. Drew and the Loveline crew to diminish, discount, and discredit the severity of the conditions this woman has than it was to hear the real question…which for the record may have been something as simple as “Do you think it would be ok to suggest different forms of sexual activity once we’re married to help keep the sexual momentum going” or maybe “do you think it’s inappropriate for me to ask her for a handjob if we haven’t had sexual intercourse for awhile” or even something completely whoa-esque like “can you offer any suggestions as to how I could be more supportive of my fiance given her diagnosed conditions”. The world may never know. It could have been related, it could have been about supporting his girl, or it could have been about golf with a badger as a caddy. Who fucking knows? What it comes down to is that we will never know…the man received no helpful advice…and maybe now his relationship is shot in the ass because Dr. Drew told a once supportive man that these conditions were in his fiance’s head and that she needs to see a shrink instead of a doc.
The lack of empathy, concern, and morals is astounding here. Dr. Drew , in a sense, violated a Doctor /patient ethical code. His actions may have directly negatively affected a “patient” and in turn may have negatively affected almost 100 million people who suffer worldwide from these “garbage bag” diagnosed conditions. He seemed to care not…after the call ended he and his team continued to make a mockery of painful sex and pelvic pain , saying “another way that somebody could experience unexplained pelvic pain would be having sex with Alan Thicke” who just so happened to be the guest on the show that day. Classy kids. Real classy. I hope you get a UTI and it burns when you pee and you can have a minute understanding of what many ICer’s feel while attempting to urinate on a daily basis. I mean, what if years down the road you find out that a woman in your life is unable to have that son they always wanted because her endometriosis prevents her reproductive system from completing that task appropriately…or maybe her Interstitial Cystitis is so severe that sex could never be an option between the 400 acid urine infested bathroom trips a day. I know that I could never fathom popping a child the size of a watermelon out of my already sensitive and broken vagina. Ever.
Did that one sound bitter? I guess it did. I guess I don’t care. I tried my best to not come across as a bitter feminist-esque bitchnado throughout this entire piece…but alas, I feel that I speak for many when I say that that one is deserved. These chronic pelvic pain communities deserve to be treated with respect…after all, statistically speaking, many of the people suffering from these conditions are women…and women are the ones who make your children, birth them, care for them, and help care for the spouses. I’d like to think that maybe somewhere along the way you’d have some compassion for those people who have such important tasks on their to do list.
I am all for opinions, free speech, and the right to feel however you want to feel concerning a certain subject.
What I am not for, is direct disregard for scientific proven medical facts.
I am not for speaking about debilitating medical conditions lightly and then making a mockery of the people directly affected.
I am not ok with the fact that someone who does not specialize in anything concerning the reproductive system or pelvic region is giving advice concerning reproductive system and pelvic region conditions. I think the people at Loveline should read my article on just how pelvic floor dysfunction, IC, and other pelvic diseases work together for a bit of enlightenment.
I am not ok with the fact that this man mustered up the courage to call into a nationally popular medical advice radio show for millions of people to hear so he could ask for help about something that could have potentially been uber important to his relationship’s future success just to be lectured about the “nature” of the conditions instead of being heard.
I am not ok with the fact that people who may not have known about these conditions found out about them this way… This horribly inaccurate and insensitive way and are now maybe wondering if they’ll never find help and should just give up.
I am not ok with any of it…not one bit…and I think instead of an apology (because honestly, is it going to make us feel better? probably not…we won’t believe it anyway) he should do a proper show on these conditions with doctors who know…and people who suffer from them…and maybe just maybe he can help us rectify the shitshow he created.
Ellen Degeneres, can us ladies get a little help here? I’d love to talk to you about this…for real though.
All we have are our voices..
This P.S goes out to women celebs and public figures who I feel would give a shit about this cause…the fact that no woman and her sexual pain should be mocked or discounted…
THIS IS A CRY FOR HELP!!!!!!!
Eve Ensler, Ellen Degeneres, Tyra Banks, Susanna Kaysen, Alice Sebold, Amanda Fucking Palmer, Jennifer Lawrence, Ellen Page, Kelly and Sharon Osbourne, Alicia Keys..and all your friends….if you guys could ever find the time..help some ladies out. We could use all the support in the world.
Be sure to check out some other articles by yours truly that help explain pelvic pain conditions to the non-believers and touch a bit on what life is like for those who suffer with these conditions.
yea, This one too .